Emotional Abuse is Worse Than We Think

Allow Me a Moment to Clarify…

I need to apologize. In researching a post I’m working on this morning I happened upon a picture that was so disturbing I almost vomited. You notice this picture is the new background on this blog; it portrays a women having been beaten to the point of either being dead or unconscious, her husband dragging her out of the room, blood all over the floor. I was shook to the core at the thought of what that woman must have gone through (it was obviously a photo but in my mind I thought that exact scenario happens all the time). Then I realized it may have come across like I was negating the seriousness of physical domestic violence.

This is the most graphic photo of domestic violence I’ve ever seen…

Physical abuse in a relationship is also emotionally damaging and I want to apologize to anyone who may have read my previous posts, and felt I was downplaying the effects physical violence has on a person. It absolutely is not not serious and I would never make light of the hell a person in a physically violent relationship experiences every single day. It would be an extremely difficult situation to be in for completely different set of reasons. The thought of women in a physically abusive relationship is something that really disturbs me. It is an issue very important to me. Being a sensitive, empathetic woman is very difficult at times,  being that certain thoughts disturb me to the point of crying or being nauseated.

That being said, the reason I started this blog is because one day recently my husband made two comments about his emotional abuse of me which really upset and bothered me. Even more, it made me want to speak out. The first comment was:

Emotional abuse against someone who deserves it isn’t really abusive, but honest

The second was after we had a conversation regarding the definition of verbal and emotional abuse. He goes:

Look at all the things you have done to me over the years. You’ve had it so good, I can’t believe you think you’ve been abused. My God

Those were his words, verbatim. Putting me down all the time, making snide comments, threatening me, calling me names in front of our kids, pointing out my faults no matter how insignificant, bringing up my mistakes from the past at the most horrible of times, treating me like I’m not here or leaving with our children to go somewhere fun and leaving me at home (not that I would want to go anyway), hiding money from me and not allowing me to go grocery shopping… shall I go on? These are all forms of emotional abuse and believe me: that’s just a short list of the things you do, asshole.

images(5)Emotional abuse is simply an issue that is minimized in general in the United States, and it seems to me that people have stereotypes in regard to abuse. I merely want to focus on emotional abuse as a form of abuse that is not portrayed in the media, films, or television, nearly as much as physical abuse. But I absolutely know and am aware that all forms of domestic violence are unacceptable and should have equal legal consequences to an abuser.

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